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I know a dude named Jimmy used to run up in me Night time pissy drunk off the Henny and Rémy I didn't mind it, when he fucked me from behind it Felt fine, 'specially when he used to grind it He was a trick when I sucked his dick He used to, pass me bricks, credit cards and shit Suck him to sleep, I took the keys to the Jeep Tell him, "I'll be back," go fuck with some other cats Flirtin', gettin' numbers, in the summer, ho hop Raw top in my man's drop Then this homie Jimmy, he's screamin', "Gimme" Lay me on my back, bustin' nuts all in me After ten times we fucked, I think I bust twice He was nice, kept my neck filled with ice Put me in Chanels, kept me out nice Called suckin' his dick, "rockin' tha mic" It was somethin' about this dude I couldn't stand Somethin' that coulda made his ass a real man Somethin' I wanted, but I never was pushy The motherfucker never ate my pussy [Hook] I don't want dick tonight Eat my pussy right Uh, uh, uh, uh Lil' Kim, Lil' Kim, bring it to me now I know a dude named Ron Doo push a Q Had a wild crew on Flatbush & Avenue U Had a weed spot, used to pump African black He used to, seal his bag so his workers wouldn't tap I used to see him, in The Tunnel, with fuckers at dawn Whisper in my ear he wanna get his fuck on I dug him, so I fucked him, it wasn't nuttin' He wanted me to suck him, but I didn't, I ain't frontin' The sex was wack, a four-stroke creep I jumped on the dick, rode his ass to sleep He called next week, askin' why I ain't beep him "I thought your ass was still sleepin'" He laughed, told me he bought a new Path Could he come over right fast and fuck my pretty ass?

"I'll pass, nigga, the dick was trash If sex was record sales you would be double glass The only way you seein' me is if you eatin' me Downtown, taste my love like Horace Brown Tryin' to impress me with your 5 G stones I give you 10 G's, nigga, if ya leave me alone," screamin': [Hook] The moral of the story is this: You ain't lickin' this, you ain't stickin' this And I got witnesses, ask any nigga I been with They ain't hit shit till they stuck they tongue in this I ain't with that frontin' shit I got my own Benz, I got my own ends, immediate friends Me and my girls rock worlds, some big niggas Fuck for car keys, and double-digit figures Good dick I cherish, I could be blunt I treat it like it's precious, I ain't gonna front For limp-dick niggas, that's frontin' like they willy Suck my pussy till they kill me, you feel me?

Schlappig owes his small slice of fame to his blog "One Mile at a Time," a diary of a young man living the life of the world's most implausible airline ad.

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If a readers or RFID-app enabled smartphone is within range, it can pick up the wireless signals transmitted when that card is being used to buy a product (left).