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The image of men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s chasing after women half their age has driven many woman over 40 into my office.

Are there men who will seek out a younger woman given the opportunity? Is it a reality that by the time a woman reaches 65 her gender outnumbers single men 2 to 1? So are those the biggest factors that contribute to women over 40 having a hard time finding a match. In my 10 years as an online dating coach it’s become clear that the reasons why older women fail at online dating can be broken down into 4 major factors: mindset, lifestyle, chivalry, and algorithms.

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She’s also a seasoned vet of dating as a plus woman — as well as navigating a long-term relationship (she and her partner recently welcomed their first child; for the baby pics alone, you should check out her Instagram).

With her guidance I’ve put together a list of reminders to bear in mind when diving into dating, whether you’re new and nervous or experienced and tired of the BS.

Man, they really drill in the message early with this nonsense: Maybe that’s why dating as an adult so often feels like being in a class we’re failing. With rare exception, dating is considered a pain in the arse, but a necessary hurdle if you want to advance to the next romantic level.

And when you’re plus-sized (or if your appearance doesn’t conform to mainstream beauty standards in other ways), dating can seem fraught with even more challenges.

We’ll take you through every aspect of the site, and we’ve also provided a list of alternative BB sites that could be up your alley.